semi insomniacs’ site

I woke up at 4a.m. which is not too bad considering I went to bed at 7:48p.m. after a day when I felt my body had moved through mud. I felt like a prehistoric creature dragging a long tail through fire and ice to find a place to put my head down. The simplest tasks, like bending over to roll up my yoga mat from yesterday’s yin practice, made me want to just give in to the force of gravity, which scientists now say they don’t really understand.

I thought it was simple: an apple, a tree, a man noticing. My body, the bed, a wish for a good night’s sleep.

When I got up at 4, the room was black. My mind searched to find a memory of having lain down last night. How does fatigue finally overtake a semi-insomniac?

I lay there in the dark and felt the full weight of my body on the soft sheets as consciousness caught up with my location. I sneezed three times. All my muscles just cinched up before I even knew what was coming. There was a squinting around my eyes. A tickle in my nose and throat. And then something like a cellular explosion of star-stuff and cloud-flowers.

We are remnants of ancient stars and largely water which are just bubbling with energy. No wonder we can’t sleep.